Let’s Try This Again.

It seems like a long time ago, but I posted on this very topic before. To list the cliches: Something’s gotta give.  I’m stuck in a rut. I’m at the end of my rope. I’m a man on the edge!

All of it is true. I’m sick of the same old shit—the same old places, same old people, same activities, even the same foods. No offense to anyone, of course. I just can’t take much more. I need to move on, one way or another.

The job hunt has been a heap of suck, frankly. Because of work, driving to work, preparing for work, trying to cook for pennies, then cleaning, etc., I just don’t have a whole lot of time to apply for jobs. Add in a bit of exercise or some out-of-the-ordinary drama/responsibilities, and well, no applications go out.

Not all of us make enough for takeout or eating out every night. Not all of us can afford to live two miles from work. Not all of us have a whole lot of help at home to get things done. By the time I drive home, cook, eat, and clean, it’s already 9pm. Add in some outside publishing jobs required to keep mentally sharp and qualified, and  I’m stretched beyond any level most sane people could stand.

By the same token, I certainly don’t have the time or money for very many interviews, so I’m grateful that no employers have wasted my time if they truly aren’t interested. (I would sometimes like to know what disqualifies me from even a consideration, though.)  And no, I never thought the job hunt in my field would be easy. But it’s been two years since I finished my Master of Arts in publishing, and I just can’t take much more of letting my skills go to waste while the interest accrues on my already outrageous student loans. They’ll be sending bills to the cemetery at this point!

So I’ll try this again. I’ve already chucked some driftwood out of the stream, and will continue to do so. I can’t keep swimming upstream with needless obstacles. I can’t keep dodging meaningless crap. It’s just no longer physically possible.  To put it in real world terms: I don’t have time for people (friends or family) who take absolutely no interest in the things I do or the difficulties I face. (You’re probably included here if you don’t already know the drama in my life lately.)

None of this is spoken in anger, hurt, or sadness. In fact, I’m toasting with a glass of bubbly! It’s just spoken from a point of realization. The unicorns aren’t flying over yet, so I don’t have time for fantasy or whimsy…except the kind that I can enjoy on my own.  So here’s to a whole new me. Expect anything, at this point.

3 Replies to “Let’s Try This Again.”

  1. beautiful! truly rich and sweet………i adored it.

    the unicorns are approaching, and they will love you…believe me, they will.

    mr. salmon, you know i’ll always be there for you, whether you like it or not! 🙂

    and holy cow hell! did you actually have some bubbly???

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