Finding Magic

Posted on2 Comments

Christmas used to be that one time of year when magic seemed really possible. Every year we’d all pile into our big American-made car for Christmas Eve at Mamaw’s, and on the way home we’d always gaze out the back window, looking at the star-filled sky for some sign of Santa, as we raced home to beat him. After we were too old for that, we’d watch for the equally elusive southern Mississippi snowflake. There was magic to be seen, even if we never saw it.

Christmas meant a twinkling tree, special food, a few unexpected gifts, and Christmas music. That was about it…and it was enough. I don’t remember commercials telling us to give the “gift of asphalt” to our loved ones by getting them a Cadilac. I certainly don’t remember… Read More …

До свидания, профессор.

Posted on1 Comment

If you’re lucky in life, a handful of people change your perspective on the world. Just a handful. For me, those people were mostly professors when I first ventured out into the world and moved 1200 miles away for college…alone. On the surface, that first academic venture failed miserably, as I dropped out after two years. But it was still paramount to making me who I am now.

Those few professors opened up the world for me, to many topics, ideas, and ideologies. Dr. Donna Budani opened my mind to cultural studies after I took a few of her mid-level anthropology courses in the 1991/1992 year. (I hadn’t even been sure what “anthropology” was until then!) She also gave me my first college “A,” at a time when so many other courses were pushing me toward disenchantment, if not misery. Thanks to her, I went on to add a second major in anthropology when I returned to school. Another of those inspiring professors was Dr. Alexander Lehrman… Read More …

The Journey

Posted onLeave a comment

“As a basis for change, we need to recognize that as long as we live in this world we will encounter problems, things that obstruct the fulfillment of our goals. If, when these happen, we lose hope and become discouraged, we diminish our ability to face these difficulties.”—His Holiness the Dalai Lama, The Compassionate Life

For me, life is all about the journey. When we think we’ve found contentment and comfort, that’s usually when unhappiness creeps in. If we are always striving for something better, we stay filled with hope, and life seems to have much more purpose. If nothing else, we stay too busy to let things make us unhappy… Read More …

Let’s Try This Again.

Posted on3 Comments

I posted on this very topic before. To list the cliches: Something’s gotta give. I’m stuck in a rut. I’m at the end of my rope. I’m a man on the edge!

All of it is true. I’m sick of the same old shit—the same old places, same old people, same activities, even the same foods. No offense to anyone, of course. I just can’t take much more. I need to move on, one way or another.

The job hunt has been a heap of suck, frankly. Because of work, driving to work, preparing for work, trying to cook for pennies, then cleaning, etc., I just don’t have a whole lot of time to apply for jobs. Add in a bit of exercise or some out-of-the-ordinary drama/responsibilities, and well, no applications go out. Read More …

Inspiration

Posted onLeave a comment

I love winter—I really do. I love the snow and brisk clean air, and I always have enough pockets to carry everything. (I lose things more often in summer!) But spring just inspires the soul so much more. It gives pause. Sometimes it even takes the breath away. But it almost always gives hope.

Perhaps spring just inspires the hope that all things can be reborn, at least with a new look or a fresh start, even if not with a new purpose. I keep waiting for my chance to burst out with a new identity or new direction. I keep feeling… Read More …

Glenn in 1992, reading magazine and eating Twizzlers

Sticks and Stones…

Posted on6 Comments

I’ve always been the type that showed little emotion. I pretended, often quite well, that nothing bothered me. But I was pretending. As much as we’ve all heard the old saying, words can hurt. Words aren’t just empty sounds floating through the air—they have power and meaning that become impressed in our minds and in our souls, sometimes for life.

When I was entering second grade, we moved to the other side of town, away from our friends and to a new school bus route. I became brunt of about 90% of the joking on that new bus—often by high school kids. Yes, I was 7 or 8, and they were 17 and 18. Life certainly isn’t fair, and I never expect it to be. But come on!?

The torment I endured on that bus certainly…
Read More …

Empire State of Mind

Posted onLeave a comment

The dream is still alive. I hesitate to call it a dream, because honestly, it’s a necessity. New York is still where I have to be.

You see, I’m about $65,000 in debt for my education. Never having the opportunity to just be a student, I also worked myself to the edge of insanity and poor health to get the skills needed for the career I want in publishing. Where else but New York?

I haven’t given up, and there are always plenty of prospects. I have applied for quite a few, but not nearly enough. It’s not easy… Read More …

When I Ruled the World

Posted onLeave a comment

I pride myself on having no regrets or resentments in life. Every single thing that has ever happened to each of us makes us who we are today. If you’re truly happy with that person, then every struggle and every joy was well worth it. And I am mostly happy with who I am.

But this doesn’t mean I don’t miss a few opportunities I once had.

When I was a kid, I pretty much ruled my world. Everything was there for me to see, and there seemed to be few limits! I’m not saying… Read More …

The Little Things

Posted onLeave a comment

Sometimes the little things have the most power over us. It could be a movie scene, a certain scent, or a familiar taste. For me, it’s often a song—especially lately.

Because the radio was free and we rarely had cable, music was always a big part of my life growing up. So just about any song from the 1980s or 1990s has some meaning, whether a specific relation to the lyrics, or simply an attachment in my mind to some event. Chaka Khan’s “I Feel for You” always means “Mississippi State Fair” to me. In the 1980s, they played it HEAVILY at all the rides that included music. “Come On Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight Runners always has the feeling of zooming down an Interstate cloverleaf on the way to a friend’s birthday party, since that’s the first time I… Read More …